Sunday 22 May 2011

I'm back!

I’m back! Yes, it’s been a while, but as I mentioned in my last post, things have been happening. Among other, less important things, we are expecting. Yes, another baby! Being in week 34 I feel okey-ish. Second trimester was great though, felt full of energy and content. It hasn’t been this way all the time though, first 4 months I was nauseas, lethargic, hormonal etc. Which was the main reason for the pause in updating this blog. Another reason for the break was that I was just too busy, working full-time and looking after extremely active toddler. So I had these bad guilt feelings every evening when I went to bed without updating the blog, but once I took the decision to take a break, these feelings disappeared.

Final reason I didn’t feel updating was that I had completely fallen off the wagon, as they say. I couldn’t go on my raw food journey anymore. I just couldn’t face another green juice or salad, couple of times I actually threw up my green smoothie. And the constant hunger was just too crippling to be ignored, and the only things that seemed to tame it were carbs. In any form. Toast, yes please. Pasta, mmm. Mashed potato, yummy! Even white baguette went down without much further ado. Funnily, my evening cravings were watermelon and ice cubes, but somehow I didn’t think these 2 items, even though falling into raw food category, would amount into much blogging.

So what has changed? I feel almost normal again (well, except ever bulging abdominal area and other pregnancy "side effects"). And this means I have no excuse not to eat raw food again. Of course I’m not doing any drastic dietary changes during my pregnancy, but I have slowly started to eliminate the “baddies”. And introducing the “goodies”. My long life lover Mr Cheese is being pushed aside for Mr Green Smoothie, and I have even started to juice again. My Oscar has been looking very sad...

I have been reading a lot. Raw food blogs. I’ve been looking for this inspiration, success story, something, to give me this kick in the back I need. I found one great blog – Earth Mama, which has inspired me a lot. It’s a pity the blog has been discontinued, but in a way I can understand. I guess once you’ve done it, once you have reached that ultimate goal, being high or 100% raw without much effort, what else is there to write about? You could use it as a recipe blog, but the most interesting, captivating part of raw food blogging is still the transformation. Before and after pictures? Yes please.

I still haven’t figured out what stops my own transformation, but it obviously has to be in my head (let’s put the preggie hormones aside for now). I have all the knowledge. I have the tools. I have the means. So what’s lacking? The will power? This single incident that will be the final push? The re-gigging of the brain?  I don’t know. But I’m determined to find out. And write about it. For my own benefit as much as yours. Maybe I’ll be your inspiration one day. Maybe…

So here my journey begins again…